New Year, New You? I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. I have also seeing quotes like “Be the best version of you”. These are catchy, they look good as our whatsapp display pics, shared on Facebook, and as our newest post on Instagram. However, it takes a lot more than posting a quote in one of our optimistic moments to begin construction on the imperfect beings that we all are.
The process starts with chiseling away at the core of who we are. and asking those important questions: Who am I? Am I the best I can be? Sometimes these questions are daunting because many of us don’t like who we are or what we have become so we avoid ‘facing ourselves’. Well, it’s time to face yourself… (click to read more)
Personal Mission Statements: Why They Are Important In Finding A Sense of Purpose and Why You May Not Be Able to Accomplish Your Resolutions Without One
The new year is upon us and many of us have made or are in the process of making our new year’s resolutions. It is a means of putting things in perspective, accomplishing our goals, and bettering ourselves, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally. Many items on our list are repeated from last year’s list because somewhere along the line we stumbled, we gave up, we got too busy, we got lazy, and did not accomplish those things we promised ourselves we would when the year commenced. It happens to the best of us….
In order to accomplish your resolutions successfully, you need to have a comprehensive idea of what you want your life to look like and what you are about. Hence, your personal mission statement. Businesses and organizations have mission statements that help them clearly outline what their overall purpose is as an entity. Similarly, in order for us as individuals to really get a grasp on who we are, what we are about, and why we are taking up space on this precious earth, we also need to tap into ourselves and find out what our mission is in life. Personal mission statements are a guiding for your life. They provide clarity for your reason for living and gives you a sense of purpose… (click to read more)
Though some strong-willed individuals may deny it, most people have a strong desire to be loved. More often than not, it’s the romantic type of love that we desire the most. We struggle with loneliness and the desire for companionship. Romance is not everyone’s struggle though. For some people, this deficiency is in the familial unit and/or within the friendship circle, or lack thereof. For others it’s a combination of all three. We are often left with a feeling of being unfulfilled when key players in our lives hurt us, reject us, and do not fulfill our preconceived notions on how the relationship (whatever type) should play out.
Oftentimes the issue is that we have mastered putting people’s love in front of a very important component; loving ourselves. Self-love is the best love. It is the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Mastering appreciating how important you are to yourself is one of the wisest life decisions you can make because it shapes your thinking and your thinking determines your life’s path. In addition, it also comes with amazing benefits… (click to read more…)
The Power of “I’m Sorry” (For The Holidays): Three Ways Apologizing Can Free You; Body, Mind, and Soul
The holiday season is upon us. Many people are not talking to family or friends because of a suffered wrong or a wrong they have imposed on another. They refuse to see them or communicate with them because of the hurt they feel, the hurt they have inflicted, or a combination of both. When the situation is properly analyzed, what is really needed to remedy the situation is a simple, “I’m sorry”. However, pride stands in the way…(click to read more)
Why can’t my natural hair be like the people on t.v., I mean YouTube? How do they get their hair to behave and come out in those bouncy curls and coils? Do they take several takes before the final cut they show to us? My natural hair never comes out in dope twist outs, but instead limp stands of semi-coiled, twist-out like, shenanigans play in my head. Not happy enough to be growing right next to each other, they proceed to form single-strand knots, also known as “fairy knots”? Why oh why?! For years I tried to understand why my hair won’t cooperate with me and why it hates me so (at times). Behave, I say, behave. It laughs at me, I do what I like and that’s that. For this very reason, I prefer it locked up, refusing to let it go out and play so it can knot up again. What mischievous ways it has!… (click here to read more)
I used to be a product junkie. Face, hair, and skin products were my addictions. I was always trying to find something that worked for me. My skin, it’s extremely dry! I always tested this skin moisturizer and that natural oil, etc. etc. My face, well I never had any serious problems with my face. I was, fortunately, one of those teenagers who didn’t have pimples and had pretty good skin (Please don’t curse me if you did, lol. My process was reversed as I do get pimples here and there now.). However, I was susceptible to whiteheads and oily skin in my t-zone. I would buy various face scrubs and moisturizers to keep these issues in check…. (click to read more)
No matter how supportive your network is, there is most likely a time in your life when you will have to go at it alone. You have to be your biggest and maybe only supporter, for some seconds, minutes, weeks, months, and maybe even years of your life. If you are in your thirties or younger, you may likely have a parent who doesn’t understand that you can make a living in some really unconventional ways (i.e. blogger, Youtuber, life coach, etc.). Many 80s and 90s babies even have dreams of ownership. Owning their own business and reporting to themselves. That’s me. I have always had this dream, not only because I don’t like the monotony of working for others but because I know I am capable of running a business. With that being said, I don’t always feel support from the older generation and even some of my peers, that my business can work. (I own a small consignment store on a tiny island)…(click to read more)
Everyone’s concept of what it means to be happy is different. You may never have thought about it this way but it may very well be your concept of happiness that is making you unhappy. What do I mean? If your concept of happy is based on materialistic things that have no life energy, no ability to make its own decision, then my dear, you have a problem. Oh, and if your happiness is based on people who do have the life energy to make choices then rather worse. Your happiness is something that you and you alone are responsible for….(click to read more)
My mind often drifts to my earliest memory of being hurt. It was the result of one of the most important relationships in a young girl’s life – a friendship. It was/is a feeling of being rejected. I think many can attest that the feeling of their first hurt(s) follows them unless they attack it head on. Rejection. That is my shadow. It follows me like a stray dog that thinks I am its new owner – panting and wagging its tail all the way home. I turn around, shout at it to leave, throw stones at its feet to scare it off, however, rejection won’t leave me alone….(click to read more)
The struggle has been real for me! No lie! Rejection, after rejection, after rejection. Followed by tears on my pillow, tears in my cereal, and tears in my shower. “I am qualified!” “I am capable.” “What’s wrong with me?!” “I have my Degree. I am educated.” I often felt the shame of the questioning eyes, resolved that I was not the right person for this or the right person for that.
I went through many years of “fed-up-ness”. Years of waking up in the morning, not looking forward to going to through the monotony of the day-to-day, not looking forward to another draining day of working under a psychotic (in my humble opinion) boss, not looking forward to supporting someone else’s dream when I had dreams of my own burning within me. The entrepreneurial desire lit my booty on fire on a daily basis. In between not working (for very short periods of time, usually always had a job), to not making enough (pretty much all the time), and basically wanting to be my own boss (every second of the day), I would start a little side hustle here and there, from selling medical supplies to consulting. Throughout the years, I pondered starting a few hundred more. (I mean, hasn’t everyone who is trying to escape their current employment situation, lol)… Many times I reached my breaking point, and yes I cried even more, snotty nose and all. Can anyone say, “Frustraaaatttttiiiooooonnnn?!”… (click to read more)
What does the type of compliments you expect say about you…. (and what does the type of compliments you give say about you?)
Okay, so you have to choose. You cannot have both! If you had a choice of getting compliments about the way you look or compliments about the way you perform (professionally or otherwise), which one would you choose? I’m actually talking about forever and ever here. Choose the one that will be your forever and ever. Now that you have chosen one, ask yourself, why? There are other forms of compliments, like compliments about your character… “You are very kind.” However, for the sake of this article, we will focus on looks and performance…(click to read more)
Do you sense sometimes that your closest friends are not exactly happy when you progress? Do their responses have only the faintest hint of enthusiasm? Or maybe it’s you that isn’t happy for the other person? There is an epidemic among women – many of us secretly envy (are not happy) when our sisters (sisters = friends, cousins, aunties, co-workers, sisters, etc.) have a level of success that we secretly desire for ourselves. Oftentimes, we are not necessarily desirous of the particular feat they have attained, but of the fact that they have made an advancement and we haven’t. Houston, we have a problem…(click to read more)
Have you ever looked at your current manager or supervisor and thought, “I can do such a better job than them?” Maybe you feel all they ever do is order people around and they don’t have the proper skills to do their job effectively. The fact of the matter is most of us have had similar thoughts at one point or another. Honestly speaking, some supervisors and managers do not have the skills to perform their roles at the level the position requires. However, others do. They have the knowledge, the skills, and the qualifications. The problem is, though their management skills are up to par, their leadership skills are severely lacking.…(click to read more)
…he took hold of her and said to her, “Come lie with me, my sister.” But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such things should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!… However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. (2 Samuel 13: 11b, 12, 14… underlines added)
The wetness of the tears that flowed down her cheeks was too real. It was her indicator that she was not dreaming and this experience was real. She was being raped and the man that was defiling her body was her own brother Amnon. Amid the pain that she felt from his roughness she found the courage to open her eyes and through the tears she saw his blurry image on top of her. She had said “no” but he overpowered her and had his way.
Whether your “no” is a loud scream or a small whisper unwanted physical intimacy is rape. For many people who have been raped there is a shame that comes over them.…(click to read more)